I am not a parent, and at this phase of my life, I can safely say that I will never be one. Nonetheless, being a mommy to furry loved ones does give me a taste of the joys and worries of parenting.

Last year about this time, I brought in an adult stray, Biscotti, whom someone had dumped though Biscotti had been neutered and declawed. He was a sweetie-pie and seemed to like being inside again ~ though periodically he would look at the door, then at me and meow. I told him he was an inside kitty now ~ no going back outside. Still, though I knew that he was safer inside, a part of me wondered whether I was being a good mommy by keeping him from any visits back into the world he had recently known.

Sadly, that world led to his death two weeks after I had brought him in. From the beginning, his breathing didn't seem right to me, but when I expressed my concerns to the vet, she told me to wait until time for his boosters to investigate further because the stress of a change in lifestyle and a trip to a vet for shots and an initial check-up could have been creating the breathing problems.

Three days later, Biscotti passed away. He was close to me on my desk, one of his favorite places to be. Then one moment he was licking and nuzzling my face, and the next he fell dead to the floor. Dr. Deb said he had probably contracted heartworms from a mosquito bite when he was outside and had a heart attack as a result. We both felt terrible that we hadn't investigated the breathing problem right away. I should have insisted, and she shouldn't have suggested that we wait.

Friends comforted me by telling me that I gave Biscotti two weeks of love and pampering that he would not have had if I hadn't brought him inside ~ and his final kisses to me seemed to be a thank-you as well as a loving good-bye.

Now I have another little stray making his home with us, and as soon as I heard him cough, he was on his way to the vet. Joey is much better now, but today, as he was looking out the window, I asked him, *Are you glad I brought you inside, little guy? Are you happy here?* He turned around almost immediately and licked and nuzzled my face ~ but this moment of affection was followed only by more nuzzling and purring, not by the heartbreak of losing him as I had Biscotti.

Maybe I finally got it right. :)